Cut Yourself Some Slack

I am a doer #fact. I love nothing better than to get to the end of the day feeling like I’ve achieved and by that, I mean physically ticking tasks off my ‘to-do’ list.  The downside of this drive to be ‘doing’ all the time, is that I put myself under a tremendous amount of pressure. 

I naturally wake up pretty early – usually around 6am.  This is usually due to the light streaming through the curtains (I am a very light sleeper!) and immediately my mind begins to buzz with all of the things I hope to do during the hours of 9 to 3 when my children are at school: change the bed sheets; walk the dog; finish the ironing; do the food shop; make some phone calls; prepare the dinner; write a blog post (actually that’s pretty high up on my list!); squeeze in coffee with a friend. An enormous list that not even Supermum could conquer!
Today I failed.  I did manage to walk the dog,  I did attend an appointment with my chiropractor and I arrived at Costa, only a couple of minutes late, to meet my friend.  We talked, we put the world to rights, we shared the parenting struggles we are facing right now and we discussed the way in which we could be doing ‘life’ better.  It was healthy and it was fun. 
Then my mobile phone rang and not recognising the telephone number, I chose to ignore it. Two cups of coffee later and 30 minutes after my mobile had rung, it dawned on me that I had completely forgotten that my food delivery was due between 1 and 2pm and now I had missed it. I cut my friend off mid-flow, jumped up from my chair and raced back to the car.  My heart started to pound as I quickly rang the number that I had ‘chosen’ to ignore earlier,  all the while my mind racing with potential outcomes of my frivolous behaviour (told you I was hard on myself!): no tea and I have a parent’s meeting at 6pm; having to go to Tesco after picking the kids up from school and they will moan; no breakfast cereal for the morning….and so it goes on.
Of course when I arrive home and ring the Tesco phone number, they agree to me picking the order up from the shop direct.  Emergency solved.  I realise that although the bed sheets are still needing to be washed and the ironing needs to be finished, my food cupboards will be stocked and I have spent a valuable morning with a friend.  In fact, for me, that time was well spent.  
Perhaps you need to consider spending some time looking after yourself and doing something which you enjoy.  As a mum, that’s just as important as making sure the washing has been done and that the dinner is on the table at 6pm (perhaps our husbands wouldn’t agree quite so heartily!).  It’s healthy and it’s okay to admit that you have not ticked a thing off your ‘to do’ list today but you have ‘cut yourself some slack’ and feel so much better for it. Do it!

As always, I am linking this post up with Sarah Miles’ Monday Club.

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Silent Sunday 24/3/13

20 Comments

  1. Great post Hun, I know the feeling very well. The biggest badge us mums wear is one that says….I feel guilty today….

    Lots of love xxx

    Reply
    • Aw thanks. I feel guilty most days about something or another…a Costa and a chat is just what the doctor ordered! x

      Reply
  2. Sounds to be as though you got your priorities about right. Ironing is pointless, bed sheets can safely last at least five weeks in winter and there’s always some old carrot in the fridge which can be jazzed up for the kids supper. Coffee with friends, however, is indispensable.

    Reply
  3. Great post. It’s scary how similar our lives are. I’m just the same, wake at 6, buzzing with all the things I should be doing and worrying them. Because my husband works 14 hour days, he doesn’t think I should cut myself some slack :(

    Reply
  4. Very true. I took the day off work today. Been to the doctors, done a couple of loads of washing, a couple of dishwasher loads, made some cakes, made a batch of bolognese, written and posted on my blog did some ironing (only a couple of bits literally) and yet I feel like I’ve done nothing. Actually I’ve done loads and relaxing is an important task in itself.

    Reply
  5. Ha, my friend and I were only saying yesterday (over coffee) how we always complain we don’t have enough time in the day but still manage to do coffee twice a week! I said to her, but it’s a priority…it keeps me sane, so it’s a mental heath issue. To the top of the priority list it goes! That’s a great one to tick off! Xx

    Reply
  6. i agree with you. sometimes there are just too many things in my head and i inevitably forget something! Must get myself to costa!

    Reply
  7. Was discussing this with my husband yesterday. Definitely need some “me” time as we are always looking after everyone else x

    Reply
  8. Well said – I seldom, if ever, get to the bottom of my to-do list. We should all make the effort to take a little more time to ourselves xx

    Reply
  9. Perfect post for me to read. Pre baby number two, I was always trying to unrealistically cram and extraordinary amount in my day. Recently, I’ve cut myself some slack and if we’re all washed and dressed, have food stocked for every meal and have spent some part of the day outside, then that’s a good enough day.

    Reply
    • Agreed. I seem to remember reading that post of yours. So important for all concerned that you’re not stressed and feeling snowed under. Sounds like you’re doing great to me!

      Reply
  10. Glad you have cut yourself some slack – so annoying when we have days like these, we have it all planned out, then it goes a little pear shaped – guess it all happens for a reason. I wish I could wake up on the button at 6 am …. I usually drag myself our from under the covers. X.

    Reply
    • In all honesty, I am definitely not a natural morning person. I am a light sleeper so sadly the sunshine early in the morning is what’s doing it to me…thankfully the clocks ‘spring’ forward this weekend!

      Reply
  11. Oh bless you – I so know what you mean. That sinking feeling when you’ve forgotten something. But you are so right to cut yourself some slack – I think I need to take a leaf out of your book. And I would just love to be more of a morning person :)) xx

    Reply
    • I seem to be having that ‘sinking feeling’ too much this week – must be something to do with the cold weather!

      Reply
  12. We all put so much pressure on ourselves to ‘do it all’ but we are only human and simply not possible to do everything.
    We all need to cut ourselves some slack now and then, well said!

    Reply
  13. IT is very true but I also know how quickly the kids grow up, so when I’m feeling resentful of my lack of ‘me-time’ I try to remember that when they are older and don’t need me, I will have more me-time than I need

    Reply
  14. Totally with you, S. I’ve done EXACTLY the same thing with ignoring a phone call from a food shop delivery man, only to remember the delivery slot! The pre texts are now v helpful.
    And I’m a complete do-er, list person, achievement freak which my laid back Aussie husband has nicely knocked the corners off. Still, as a mum my biggest tendency is always to be thinking I should be doing the myriad things on my list, when instead I need to set firm boundaries on time for other things that help me relax, unwind or let the creative side have its go. I’m getting there, if somewhat falteringly!

    Reply
  15. There’s always so much to do eh? You’ve actually just reminded me I have a load of washing in the machine to tumble dry and here I am online. Again. But we DO need to do things for us. And spending time with a friend can be so energising, it’s worth forgetting the Tesco delivery man for (unless of course, he’s really hot, which mine never is) x

    Reply

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