This Funny Old Life

A mere four months ago I was bemoaning the fact that my eldest daughter had put more effort into finding the right prom dress than anything else all year. This included her impending GCSEs that seemed to be getting more and more neglected as time went on.

Having finally found ‘The One’, you might remember that the ‘made-to-measure’ dress arrived and was even more teenie tiny than it should have been (believe me, that was hard to beat). Oh the trauma we experienced over this little mishap!

Another trip back to Croydon (a 60 mile round trip) to be re-measured and the dress arrived a week later. Thankfully, it fitted like a glove.  All sorted.  Or so I thought.

Funny how life turns out isn’t it? I certainly didn’t expect to be where we are now: discussing with her psychiatrist, whether attending the much-anticipated school Prom is a good idea at all.

You see she still wants to go. She wants the chance to say goodbye to the peers she has spent the last 5 years growing up with. The ones she has fallen out with, only to make up with a matter of days later. The ones she has created life-long memories with, on a variety of school trips over the years.  In short, the friends she has navigated the teenage years with.

In her words: she “fell off the face of the earth” three months ago and wants to finish school properly, just like everyone else.

After much heartache, numerous meltdowns (mainly from me), meticulous planning, and discussions with both the school Head as well as her psychiatric team, we’ve decided to support her in that decision. In fact we’ve done more than that – we are going to do everything we can to make this occasion a memorable one for all the right reasons.

If she’s determined to go even though her dress no longer fits and her anxiety is permanently lurking in the background. If she is brave enough to face the school friends she has had no contact with for three months and who will no doubt question where she has been. Who am I to stop her?

So we chose another dress last week. I had been kind of dreading the day because she’s not comfortable in her own skin right now and this was never going to be an easy process for either of us. But this particular dress jumped off the rail at both of us. And it’s perfect (albeit slightly too long).

prom dress

I am so proud of her for forging ahead with this goal. I don’t know why I’m surprised really – that determined streak is ingrained in her. I am just so glad that it’s being used in the right way. A little bit more proof that she’s still in there fighting to make it through.

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PS If anyone needs a last minute Prom dress, I have 15 cluttering up our hallway in all manner of colours, shapes and styles.

PPS Pop back on Friday and I will hopefully have been given permission to share the whole dress!



31 Comments on This Funny Old Life

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 5:23 pm (8 months ago)

      Thank you Sian. She is the bravest person I know. x x

  1. Sarah MumofThree World
    June 28, 2016 at 7:57 am (8 months ago)

    This made me cry. What an incredibly brace girl. I’m so glad she still gets to go to her prom and well done to you all for supporting her in that decision. I hope it goes well for her. X
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Contact lenses – one year onMy Profile

  2. Louise
    June 28, 2016 at 8:13 am (8 months ago)

    I hope she has a wonderful time and it helps her. How very brave and I’m so touched by how supportive you are being.
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  3. Liz Smith
    June 28, 2016 at 9:41 am (8 months ago)

    A good and brave decision made by you and her. Even if she does find it difficult she has the support around her to cope with it. She will look back on the evening with pride that she conquered meeting with the friends again that she grew up with. As for Mum…get the tissues out as she leaves in all her glory! For some reason Suzanne i was reminded of this song this morning.”You will go out with joy and be led forth with peace and the mountains and the hills willl break down before you”

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 5:21 pm (8 months ago)

      She will have good friends there too and teachers looking out for her. I think it will be a good, positive step for her. Thanks for your encouraging message Liz.

  4. Kim Carberry
    June 28, 2016 at 9:46 am (8 months ago)

    Your girl is so brave. I hope she has a wonderful time at her prom and it helps. Sending love and hugs x
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    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 2:20 pm (8 months ago)

      Thanks Kim. x

  5. Louise
    June 28, 2016 at 11:57 am (8 months ago)

    I understand why she would want to go. Glad you found a dress and hope it helps her on her journey xxxx

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 2:00 pm (8 months ago)

      I hope it helps and doesn’t hinder Louise. But the fact she wants to go is brilliant. We want to encourage that. x

  6. Claire @ Clarina's Contemplations
    June 28, 2016 at 2:44 pm (8 months ago)

    I’m so pleased she’s doing this… For all of you! A little drop of normality I’m what has been an ocean of heartache. I have been thinking of you all so much. Will be praying it’s a very special night. Xx

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 1:58 pm (8 months ago)

      Thank you Claire. You’re so kind. Praying this rain holds off right now! x

  7. Donna
    June 28, 2016 at 7:07 pm (8 months ago)

    Oh Suzanne. Tears in my eyes at this. I didn’t go to my school prom – I don’t think I even told my parents about it, let alone thought of dresses. I hated school as I got bullied so much and couldn’t wait to see the back of it – I didn’t feel like I had anything to celebrate. But your daughter should get to finish school properly, she should have one last dance with those friends and she really should get to be a normal teenage again. I really hope Cinderella went to the ball x
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    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 1:59 pm (8 months ago)

      I’m sure she will Donna. Always so sad when I hear about your experience of school. Kids can be so mean :( x x

  8. Plutonium Sox
    June 28, 2016 at 10:21 pm (8 months ago)

    Oh wow, you and your daughter are both so incredible. She is so brave to want to do this, and you are just such an amazing mum to make it happen. I hope that I’ll be as strong and reliable as you when my two go through tough times. I hope that the prom goes amazingly well if she manages to go, and if she doesn’t then I’m sure it will be for all the right reasons. Thinking of you both.
    Plutonium Sox recently posted…Why I’ve banned BingMy Profile

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 1:57 pm (8 months ago)

      I think most parents would do likewise Mich. Thank you for your support.x

    • kreditrechner restschuld darlehen
      February 11, 2017 at 5:05 pm (1 week ago)

      True! The players represent mainly the blindness! The darkness! The nightmare! Hazara themselves are brilliant! There are brilliant men and women with great thoughts you can’t imagine! We are proud of HAZARA HUNS (MOGOL_TURKS). We are ! Yes We are!

  9. Rosie
    June 29, 2016 at 1:32 pm (8 months ago)

    Good on her! And good on you. Have an awesome time at the prom!

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 1:57 pm (8 months ago)

      Thank you Rosie. We are finally getting excited!

  10. Mummy Barrow
    June 29, 2016 at 4:30 pm (8 months ago)

    I have only just caught up with this post and all that has been going on. Oh my word. HOw can I have missed it, I feel awful. But what a brave and incredible girl and what an astonishing family you.

    I completely understand why she wants to go to her prom, it is a rite of passage isnt it? But equally I feel as you do, that maybe it is not such a great idea.

    What a tough position to be in, but clearly you have thought it all through and made the right call.

    I am waffling so will shut up. I just wanted to apologise for not saying anything before and to send you all a massive virtual hug.

    • Suzanne W
      June 29, 2016 at 5:22 pm (8 months ago)

      Things in the blogging world often pass me by T, please don’t feel bad! We are muddling through and taking each step as it comes. This is going to be a big and hopefully positive one :)

  11. Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely
    June 29, 2016 at 10:08 pm (8 months ago)

    I know you’re scared for her, Suzanne, but my goodness, you must be proud of her strength and spirit in wanting to go to her prom. I think it shows amazing character. I hope she has a really great night x
    Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely recently posted…Styling the seasons – JuneMy Profile

  12. Siobhan Calthrop
    June 29, 2016 at 10:40 pm (8 months ago)

    Wow I am SO pleased she’s going. It will do her the world of good, I’m sure, and she’ll have something to look back on and feel she has some closure. Well done you – again!

  13. Sharon
    June 30, 2016 at 8:55 am (8 months ago)

    I hope the prom is everything she wants it to be and I can’t wait to see all of the dress! She sounds like an incredibly brave young lady and you are doing a fantastic job in supporting her. I totally understand why she wanted to go – it brings that part of her life to a close.I know what you mean about prom dresses – I think we went through 3 with my eldest daughter – thank goodness for return policies!! #LoundnProud

  14. Dean of Little Steps
    June 30, 2016 at 12:22 pm (8 months ago)

    I really do admire your daughter’s strength and spunk. I wish I had that and I’m wishing that T grows up to be like here, fierce and determined. Glad you got that prom dress sorted, can’t wait to read more updates! :)
    Dean of Little Steps recently posted…We Are All the Same #notoracismMy Profile

  15. Helena Clarke
    June 30, 2016 at 2:06 pm (8 months ago)

    I have got everything crossed that she has a fabulous time tonight. It is great that she is going and getting a chance to acknowledge the end of one era and the start of a new one. I hope the future is full of positive new beginnings for all of you. Xxx #loudandproud

  16. Emma T
    July 1, 2016 at 12:06 am (8 months ago)

    It’s brilliant she’s got this to focus on, and the support of you guys and her psychiatric team. Fingers crossed the event is as good as she hopes and it goes well seeing her friends there.
    Emma T recently posted…The sportswear dilemma of National Sports WeekMy Profile

  17. brummymummyof2
    July 4, 2016 at 5:20 am (8 months ago)

    Oh love and she looked BEAUTIFUL! Just like her gorgeous Mum. Hope she’s getting back to coming home as soon as poss x
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